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Somewhere in the echo

2013-02-13

Smile

Posted by thedeadwholives in Be temos  Tagged

So…I guess it was a long time since I have felt this way. Really long. You know, that feeling when you are waiting for something so much, you get that feeling that there’s something heavy in your stomach. You get nervous and scared you may not look good enough or not be good enough. And you may be pushed away from someone you think you like. That just happened to me today. And my fears didn’t come true. Tonight I had the most amazing day in MONTHS. I’m not lying. I am having such a damn hard time recently since I still can’t get over my last relationship. But now I don’t know anymore. What I want more and what I need more. Or maybe I know and I just don’t want to admit. Maybe things are changing and they are getting better? I think I’m better now than I have ever been. I am feeling in my place. I was tired of everything and now I have more strength to go on with everything in my life. I have suffered enough. I’ve drunk my beers and shed my tears. This is it. This is my time to feel happy. And I think I’m taking the shot. Because today…today was wonderful. I felt alive. The boy with blue eyes. And yes, his smile is almost perfect. And British accent too *laughs*. I know he’s reading this now and this just makes me smile because maybe…maybe I want him to know how much he’s doing. Goddamnit I’m smiling like a fool, but I don’t give a rat’s ass!! I’m fine. Thank you for this. I type this and then erase, type and erase again. I want to find the best words but it‘s not working for me. And yeah, God, damn my internet connection, disappearing just when I need it the most. I will probably even have to upload this just tomorrow. Oh well. Either way. I remembered one of my favourite Linkin Park song‘s lyrics: “When life leaves us blind love keeps us kind”. There are not just bad things in life. We just need to open our eyes to see the good ones. I hope you’re smiling when you’re reading this. I really do.

The Dead Who Lives.

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komentarai (2) to ' Smile '

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  1.    Bronius Iš Antazavės said,

    on Vasaris 13th, 2013 at 01:24

    Lithuanian people don’t have British accents :/

  2.    thedeadwholives said,

    on Vasaris 13th, 2013 at 15:24

    Turi Broniuk, turi, tu turi :D

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